Unmasking Ex-Gay Myths
by Kevin Spence
Washington Blade 12/5/03

Wayne Besen, former spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, radio show host, prolific author and MCC friend, is currently on a 7-month, 55-city tour to promote his new book, "Anything but Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth," which the Harrington Park Press recently published.

Besen, A former spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, first captured the national media's attention in September 2000, after
snapping a photo of "ex-gay" poster boy John Paulk in Mr. P's, a gay bar in D.C.

Paulk, an outspoken advocate for "ex-gay" ministries, appeared on the cover of Newsweek with his "ex-lesbian" wife in 1998. But after widespread news reports about his apparent aberration from Exodus International, a conservative Christian group for individuals who support the controversial claim that the sexual orientation of gay people can be changed with counseling and prayer, Paulk was removed as board chair.

"This, to me, is more than a book tour. I have this feeling that the right wing is going to use this more than ever this year," says Besen, 33, of a potential backlash from the religious and conservative right.

Referring to opposition gays in the U.S. are facing from the Episcopal and Roman Catholic churches, as well as the recent Massachusetts ruling in favor of same-sex marriage, he says: "The right wing base might turn to these ministries as evidence in their favor. I want to make sure people have this resource in case conditions produce a rebirth of the ex-gay ministries."

Besen is no novice when it comes to unearthing the foibles of ex-gay ministries, or what he termed, "politics under lies." His introduction to reparative therapy happened at home when he was 18. After he told his parents he is gay, they left a disturbing cassette on his bed for him to listen to. "Gay and Unhappy" was a combination of new age music and anti-gay monotone messages. Besen listened to the tape three times. He came up with this conclusion in his book: "All I've got to do to become straight, according to the tape, is figure out when you and Mom became lousy, distant parents." Since then, Besen said his parents have not subjected him to reparative therapy. Besen, who says he has a happy and healthy relationship with his parents - and always has - even dedicates his book to them.

While working for HRC, the largest national gay political organization in the nation, Besen published "Finally Free," an exposé on the "ex-gay" movement. He has spent four years examining "ex-gay" ministries and reparative therapies. After interviewing leaders such as Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, a Columbia University professor who, in 1973, helped persuade the American Psychiatric Association to stop defining homosexuality as a mental illness, but then reversed this stance in a more recent study, Besen concluded, "it was a stunt to possibly get him back into the news."

Spitzer's latest study claims that through therapy gay men and lesbians can change their sexual orientation. "Dr. Spitzer recruited the vast majority of his subjects in his terribly flawed study from the right wing," says Besen. "It really amounted to the Family Research Council who sent him [Spitzer] ex-gays on the payroll."

Spitzer defended his sampling by saying: "There's no doubt that large numbers of gays who enter [reparative therapy] are unsuccessful. These people [in the study] were recruited because they were claiming benefit, and had offered to be in the study," he told the Columbia Spectator.

Others, who also considered the subjects too biased, criticized his findings. Ninety-eight percent of the subjects described themselves as "devoutly religious," pointing to recruitment of the subjects by the ex-gay ministry. Of Spitzer's most recent findings, Besen added: "Once [Spitzer] was very well-respected. Now, he tarnished his image."

Besen also immersed himself in meetings of "ex-gay" groups. Although he would not divulge which group he infiltrated, he references Love in Action, Exodus International, and Homosexuals Anonymous in his book. "One woman comes to mind who exemplified what's going on here. She talked of committing suicide - she thought she was going to hell. She knew [reparative therapy] wasn't working but she was afraid to leave the ministries. She was stuck in a purgatory of pain. The conversation was heartbreaking. She thought it was her fault, for not praying enough," Besen said. Techniques like playing sports to make one heterosexual, Prozac prescriptions and gaining weight were brought forth as cures from the ex-gay
ministry, wrote Besen.

Randy Thomas, a spokesperson with Exodus International, does not agree. "What I can say is that gender-affirming role modeling is way simplistic. I don't think that is an elemental part of the ex-gay ministry," said Thomas of the 125 ex-gay ministries dotting North America.

Besen said, "Exorcism is a hallmark of these ministries. People go through many exorcisms and spend a lot of money on doctors who give them." He insists that many figureheads for the ex-gay ministry enjoy working with the media - the gay media, in particular - because it is the only contact with gay men and lesbians they can still retain as ex-gays.

"I think what the culture war has done was try to make ex-gays the opposite of the gay community," Thomas said. "The media and a few people have made us into the perceived enemy. Just because I'm ex-gay doesn't mean that I haven't faced discrimination." Thomas, who is a "reformed" gay man of 11 years, said that, in fact, he faces more persecution from the gay media than from the straight media. "I think there's a lot of intolerance in the gay community - because they don't accept I'm living my life for myself. They think I would rather attack them," he said.

As for Besen's assertion that most prominent ex-gay leaders are substance abusers, Thomas said: "I know a number who have, including myself, abused drugs, until we turned to our faith. If they're in Exodus leadership, they do not suffer from that today."

Reaction to the book from the right has been muted. David Gasak, with Focus on the Family, said: "I'm not in the capacity to give you a comment about it." Even Thomas said he has not read the book yet, although he talked of the ex-gay ministries, in general. "The people who are seeking our help do so of their own free will. They're grown adults. We don't inhibit someone's self-determination in any way," Thomas said.

As for Paulk, the person who, in many ways, caused Besen to embark on his current nationwide book tour, Thomas said: "I think he made a mistake three years ago. He's doing quite well. He just celebrated the birth of his third son."

But for Besen, subversion is the ex-gay antidote for homosexuality. "They rule by mudslinging, fear and bully tactics," he says. "But that's okay. I'm confident with my message."